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Growing Grumpy

All my life I have been told, by a certain older generation “Kids these days, they have no respect.” It is thought that every child who can talk will talk over and above teachers, parents, police officers and even (it would appear) random strangers, spouting nothing but abuse and mindless violence.

This is a very pessimistic way of viewing things. There is a notion that the past era (now recognised as “back in my day”) was so much more polite and civilised and the whole world was united and even night time wasn’t dark because it was filled with rainbows. It isn’t a very realistic idea and nobody believes it!

I played at the WRVS this Christmas and while I sang a few old ladies were having a conversation at the back of the room. I wouldn’t have minded or even noticed that they were talking if they had been discrete but I could hear them from the other side of the room. This I have come to know (from five years of secondary school) as “minor disruption”, it’s not putting anyone is danger or hurting people but it’s pretty annoying. At one point almost every person in the room was talking while I was singing. So I have come to the conclusion (other instances included) that if a person wants to proclaim how well behaved everybody was “back in my day” then they could at least try to put it into practise.

I’m not trying to say that everyone’s a hypocrite (as I certainly wouldn’t have enough evidence) and I’m not saying that every teenager is an angel. But I am saying that perhaps our eras are not worlds apart. The media have to chance to exploit all they can about teenage delinquency and they take those opportunities, but the bottom line is that everyone really just wants to have as much fun as they can before it’s absolutely necessary to grow up. Is that so different?

Has it ever crossed anyone’s mind that teenagers try to act up in accordance with the stereotype? After all, trying to change it never seems to work. The idea that every 16 year old girl has a child and that every 16 year old boy has a knife is ridiculous and I have to admit a little insulting. And I can’t help but wonder that if the world wants its young people to behave well and become good citizens, perhaps the world needs to stop treating them as if they are criminals.

 Yes, I’m a teenager, I went to a state school and I own a hoodie, that doesn’t mean I want to stab you.

Why so painful!!!?


There seems to be a growing fascination with pain. We as regular people find entertainment in celebrities’ heartache, the breakups, divorces and even cases of domestic violence are splashed across newspapers and magazines and I can’t help wondering if it’s because if we can know that the fabulous world in those glossy pages is not so fabulous, we feel better for not being a part of it? All the time we are obsessed with what is happening in this world which to me seems so divorced from reality in so many ways but is so very real for so many people and Planet Hollywood is not all sun shine and happiness because neither is Planet Earth.

Even in music, the most “incredible” songs, the ones that are generally considered to be deep and a work of genius are almost always sad or angry or sometimes just desperate. What about “I’m walking on sunshine” or”Fun fun fun” optimistic, full of life, people genuinely happy to be alive; why in most situations would people more gladly say their favourite band is the Smiths rather than the Jonas Brothers? Because it’s less embarrassing? Why? I will love Katrina and the Waves, the Beach Boys and Elvis Presley if they make me happy. I will even love the Jonas Brothers and I shouldn’t have to be embarrassed to admit that.

In the words of Tim MInchin " He's more into beatles than the stones, more stever wonder than ramones....he will always be a rock and roll nerd!"

Autumn

Don't you think autumn is wonderful! Even though I said this last year and even though it was chucking down with rain today I still think it's my favorite season!
I was in Reading yesterday and I have to admitt that the sun was shining, and the way the leaves that were still on the trees looked was breath taking. Even those which had already fallen were somehow beautiful I went along the path kicking the pretty colours into the air and I felt like I was about six again. I felt like I could skip down the road and people would notice only to be uplifted.
 
Autumn so far has been more summery than summer was! Maybe my expectations of summer were too high but I still think autumn while most of the clothes are uninspiring and dull can have the most wonderful colours. Deep yellows and greens and turquoises and reds and purples and oranges all that kind of quirky shade that doesn't make you think like you're going to need sunglasses to look at a person but can still feel so bright and happy!

When I leave the house tomorrow at 7:45 tomorow I'm going to wear a skirt and my favorite wooly tights! And then I'll get back on the bus at about 5:15 (yeh I work in quater hours now!) the sun wont be shinning anymore and I'll have to travel on a bus in the dark...never done that before....it'll be an adventure. As I said last year I still feel that there's a promise of newer, bigger, better and brighter things in the future, this season does this too me! There are less daylight hours and so I start thinking more and filling my day with less doing more daydreaming and my imagination does some weird and wonderful things and generally makes my day happier! I acheived quite a lot this year in comparison to other years and I know I will acheive more next year and I know I'm going to have to work super hard but I also know that it'll be worth it! I need to think about my new years resolution for January, I want to acheive something...don't know what yet...finally fall in love!!?? =D Although that's a little vague I guess I'm kind of already in love with half of the muscians on my ipod, a number of book characters and a few actors although I don't think that really counts. Get a job? That would be nice! Write a song, a decent song not the ones that I wrote for GCSE music.... learn the Ukalali (going to happen!).... take up the violin again(Probably wont happen!) ....

The possibilities!!!
Yes the rain makes me wet but it also makes the pavements and the grass shine and the wind mucks up my hair and I loose complete control but I like to think I may finally see Mary Poppins floating down from behind the dark clouds plus you get to bundle up and get really cosy. The homework will pile up but there's an undeniable excitement that tells me somethings going to happen. THere's a feeling in the autumn and winter cross over months that just isn't there the rest of the year, whether it's christmassy-ness or what I don't know but it feels different, better, somehow I don't know why!

Into - Park life

How embarassing!

I tagged onto Jake and Jodie first before I found Esther, thankfully I was with people I knew most of the day but there were so many people to whom I was like "aah you look scary" loads of really skinny, pretty, fashionable girls (I sound like Amber) all rather intimidating and all day i felt like a tourist, I was constantly lost with either my time-table or my map out or even both and a very confused look on my face. Never before have I felt more like an outsider.

I did kind of make friends with  a girl from Moira House (sp) but as nice as she was I don't know if I would like to put up with her for the next two years.

Today has convinced me of the fact that i will probably spend the next two years in the corner reading my book waiting for somebody to talk to me first. Today confirmed to me that I don't really have many social skills. I only talked to said girl (Helen) because I overheard her talking about books after English and managed to start up a conversation about the books we were studying and how all the pthers who wanted to take language were completely insane! And thus we spent Lunch together (both of us had only one other real friend who we later discovered were in tutor together) and psychology which was interesting although the teacher kept going on about her pregnancy....?

My basic notion after today is "Oh Dear!"

Tags:

I'm back!!!

So yes I have been away for ages and not updated which is very bad of me but I haven't really had anything to say and I probably wont as as of wednesday I finished my exams and I never have to wear my school uniform again. Part of me couldn't be happier about this, I get to fulfill the exciting stereotype of the student and I know that over the years I have whinned (sp?) mercilessly to friends, family and generaly anyone who will listen that I want to get out, that i hate school and I couldn't possibly conform to this institution any longer, as we all know, I am certainly one for the over-dramatic.

I fear I may be over dramatic in my leaving as well, very "so long, farewell, oh how, oh how will I go on". Yes I am happy to be free as it were but I really can't believe it's over. No more uniform, no more worship, no more faking my mum's signature where she was supposed to sign my diary, and much to my delight no more agonising "voluntry" eucharists. No longer will my lunch times be filled with choir and handbells and everything but might actually be filled with... lunch... I'm going to have to leave all of my favorite teachers and my favorite people, yes most of the students will be moving with me (except Georgie *sobs*) but Mrs. Clifton, Mrs. Sheffield, Mr. Boatright and course Mrs. G!

Even though I only officially left two days ago I already feel like a visitor rather than a vital part of Mr. Boatwright's plan for world domination; we can do no more to help. Our classes (in theory) will never be stopped half way through by a frustrated teacher slamming a book on the desk and proclaiming that our class is simply impossible to teach, but then I'll also never get another chance to argue with Jordan Bray however this is probably a good thing.... in hind-sight.... I'd regret it later.... =(

My school work of the last two years sits in two massive heaps on my dinnig room table and I can't help but feel the teensy bit nostalgic and wishfull, wishfull that i could re-do the last five years miss out all the bad things and get to repeat all the good things but time is cruel and what is done is done and I can't change that. So I'll just have to remember those awesome memories and miss out the awefull ones.

I know Esther is probably thinking "okay, Steffii's been listening to The Beach Boys" so in closing I will just say....

Bishop Bell I'll be true to you!
lol

Yesterday

So yesterday about 2 minutes before I left the house to go shopping with Evie, Chloe phoned, one of our best friends is in hospital and we don't know what's wrong. I really meant to phone you two (Esther and Georgie) yesterday but I didn't have time and it was all confusing and I didn't get in until 11 and everything, so I'm really sorry I didn't get a chance.

Monday seems like an ideal day to visit him but I don't know if visiting times will alow us too in the morning not that I have any real way of getting there. I don't know whether to be worried or just think "it's kiwi he'll bounce back, he always does!" I don't know how serious it is...

major sad face! ;(

Ok so yesterday my mummy, brother and I watched Juno. I had heard a lot about how great it was, I mean it won an oscar and other such awards so it had to be good.

I thought it was amazing, I though it was very honest and very believable. The acting was amazing as was the writing, everything was great. As much as I want to write down a thousand quotes from it as I think the writing really was the best part it would take too long and there would be no point when you can go onto imdb and search Juno and find the quotes, it isn't like Chemistry module two to try and find them and it'll be worth it I promise!

That's all I've got to say really so...

see you all soon

mwah!
I have found (and bought) my prom shoes!
They are sparkly, glittery, incredibly high, potentialy dangerous, very impractial and I will probably break my ankles. I love them!

I don't know if there is any more to say, I'm not even going to say how much they were (as I'm afraid Esther may faint) lets just say that without Daddy's credit card, I'd be stuffed!

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

And Daddy also said he'd take my ipod back today, but he said that yesterday aswell...

Earth's Greatest Mystery

No it's not a female's mind, but the rubik's cube, oh yeh, I can solve it in 1 minute 23 seconds, not too shabby conidering I've only been doing this for about three weeks. XD

In other news I am hoping to get a new ipod, mine refuses to switch on and so I need to take it back ;( which is very sad, just when I was growing attached to it.

I spent the majority of today at Esthers doing Historry revision and I learnt just how much I don't know! I am now desparate to see the extended versions of TLotR and to dive into ebay and try to find some nice designer stuff or vintage you know, not picky! =D

Not a lot to say, other than I've become obsessed with the hairspray soundtrack!

It's over?

I cannot believe that my music GCSe is now over, it's actually finished I don't need to revise anymore! It's the only thing I consistently revise for! The exam went really well, compared to all ofthe practise ones we've done it was really easy! Apart from one question...
They asked us to name the instrument and it was plainchant, therefore renaissance so I thought okay it'll be a crumhorn or a viol or something but when I heard it I was like... Is that a saxophone? And later on when discussing with MRs.G we found out it was! Who would mix monks singing in latin with a saxophone! It was so weird... but that was about it so... yeh that wa good
The main problem I had was the fact that Luke was in in the exam. Now this is one of my most important exams that I need to concentrate on for the whole hour, I can't sit and breathe for five minutes when I start to pnick and I can't afford to get distracted. This he made extremely difficult! LOL!

In other news we are in the midst of our boiler being replaced so our house is extremely cold and we have builders round tomorrow so I don't get my lovely lie in which I didn't get this morning either and I have to go to Mr. Ross's house with mummy because they don't want me in the house with the builders for some reason but yeh so that's gonna be weird. My parents can't see why watching TV at my Head Teachers house would be weird!

Ummm... Christopher passe dhis driving test today with only three minor's which is great! So I sit here typing with my feet up sipping a newly opened bottle of champagne! It also meant we went out for a chinese (our other excuse was the fact that we have no use of our cooker so chinese it was) The interesting thing was that Becky (Christophers girlfriend) came which was fun! She was really nice, she wants to go to York Uni and ultimately be a counscellor (sp) She is going to ALaska in the summer to do Whale and Bear watching, her brother is at Uni and lives in accomodation that they have never cleaned (rats and all) Her dad is a vet ummm, that's about all I can remember. But yes  it was really fun!

Not a lot else to say....

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